Back to Fashion Future – Columbia Star

 Back to Fashion Future – Columbia Star

I don’t know what’s going on in fashion these days, but obviously someone is immersed in various mind -altering medications!

Have you seen clothes for women lately? Whether you’re at Target or Macy’s, it looks like Stage Coach just dropped a bunch of things that Betsy Ross and her friends sewed on the last quilting bee.

All the materials are patterns we haven’t seen since little Laura Ingalls ran in the front yard of her Little House on the Prairie. We have gingham, paisley, rosebuds, and faux lacey dresses and shirts that seem to be made for slopping pigs and shoes on horses. And, yes… there are overalls. GINGHAM overall. PAISLEY overalls … all sorts of OVERALLS.

Big, boxy OVERALLS!

They are terrible!

Then, if you’re in the mood to go to the square dance on Saturday night, there are these dresses to look out for that involve cutting a large piece of material and sewing it into a weird fit. horizontal stripes. The upper stripe has sleeves but never allows body parts such as the shoulders, arms, or chest — and is then followed by the second, third, and fourth “stripes” that move as they descend into the body. The fabric used for the rugs can be simple but in every color the main color of the tire. Some contain some bold but vivid pattern likely taken from one of Picasso’s paintings, and the final “look” identifies what one would look like if one were to put on a tent to run out of food.

An inverted triangle looks bad on ANY body!

Let’s face it … unless you’re Twiggy or a surviving POW whose imprisoned diet consists of leaves and grass for two years, the horizontal stripes are NO friend! The skies look beautiful, but MORE! They are GREAT! They are BASTOS!

They are not something I want to wear to accentuate anything on my body!

Honestly, I don’t know who these new designers are, but they really need to get rid of crack pipes. These “clothes” they wear are pretty awful. If they were trying to bring back the old west, I hope they would copy the saloon women’s styles instead of the pioneer women’s clothing. I found bee keeper suits that were nicer than I saw in Belk last week.

They have a full rack of clothes that were probably formerly pillow cases. And in their appearance, they probably don’t look great on pillows either.

Or maybe they do, but who wants to dress up to go out at night and let your spouse or date tell you that you reminded them of a pillow they loved at Grandma’s house? Or that you’re wearing the same material on Grandma’s couch?

I think the designers just put together a few bottles of wine or whiskey and bet themselves that they could get people to wear anything. No matter how ugly, unattractive, or what ungodly color or pattern they use, they bet the American public will buy it, wear it, and love it.

I could hear the conversations of the fashion runways in my head.

“We’ll use this puce and artichoke material to make some overalls,” says Fashionista Number One.

“Oooh I don’t know,” Fashionista Number Two said. “The public probably doesn’t like these two colors together … they never work together with each other.”

“Who cares?” Fashionista Number One laughed. “If we sell it as the‘ next big thing from Paris, ’they’ll buy it and wear it. You can see! ”

And like the horse that won the Kentucky Derby by 80-1 probability… they are RIGHT!

let me just say …

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